Friday, October 28, 2011

I don't think is fair that people judge me by being from a divorced family & being adpoted.
I see no big deal about it? It makes you stronger. Why to people is like the kid will have problem? Or give problems? I don't really get it. What I been through makes me stronger and being able to see the world. I know it's not what a normal person should go through but you can't blame the kid for having parents this way. Maybe this cause so much problem to me. I don't know how to handle all these anymore. Why do selfish parents makes their kids suffer for a mistakes they made? I don' t think is even right. Many things I try to make myself see and trust. It's seems so fake and what's the use of telling people about how you feel and how you want it to be? People will use this as a personal attack or make a fool out of you. A joke that insults you and make you bleed inside. This is what human do,don't they? All the care is how to mock at people. Lack of character and just judge-mental. Doesn't really helps much. It's seems so hard already. Hard to understand or even opening up. In the past 2 years, I could open up cause there was someone who was there who always tell me that I am not alone and I could trust and say. I broke down and say and say and that person will always comfort me and let me cry out. Right now feels like I have no one I can tell and turn p.too. I think I am going back to my ownself by keeping everything and just feel like crap. I really no longer know how to vent out and here I am back to blogging cause I have no one to turn too. This is how mentally tired I am already. I used to be so strong and almighty. But look at me right now? Trying to seek for help and a listening ear. Back at one ..... is on my playlist. What's the point now? How am I gonna show I am for real? Time will reveal. Never would have made it that far. You have the key. You are like a dream come true. You are the only one for me. Thats why I'm suffering now. I really wanna start back at one.  This is just a mental torture. Where am I now? What am I doing to myself. I know I just want it back. I am for real. But how and who will teach? Never would have made it again. Cause I am lost. I lost the key to my heart.