Friday, May 11, 2012

Just blame me for being stupid. Whats the reason for me to keep my baby? When I work so hard for 8 months carrying him inside me with my legs swollen just cause I want a house of our own. A place to call home. But at the end, I realised it was just me being stupid enough. Audrey putting down her ego.. So funny even if my friends were to know I can sorry it will be a major joke. I am thankful for kaden coming into my life and giving me and letting me learnt how to grow up. I will work towards my goal harder be it with a man in life or not. I am not a weakling. But recently I have become worst than a normal girl cause in the past I wasn't like this at all. I didn't know how to say sorry nor ask someone to stay. I will never say a sorry a dozen times, I will never run after anything. All I did is for my son. I am thankful when I am looking at him with my tears he giggled at me. I know I somehow did something right. That was to have him. As for my marriage , I have been working on it and trying to change myself non stop just to make people around me happy but was ever I am happy? Even? Maybe I am not at all. I used to be someone full of character and I really ponder why I have become like this. Where is the old me? Someone who will go on dates with people who will give me the ever perfect dates and say the sweetest words to me and make me happy and I know I have someone who will know me in and out the way I am. Just the way I am. I feel like I am putting a show just to show that I don't mind and I can don't bother. I am tired god. I am really tired. Of proving and getting blamed. I have enough. This shall be my little secret. Hush Hush. Heal the pain away and blow it.